Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
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List Price: $13.95
Our Price: $11.16
Your Save: $ 2.79 ( 20% )
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
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Average Customer Rating: 
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9780060928971
ISBN: 0060928972
Label: Harper Paperbacks
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 272
Publication Date: 1998-04-01
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
Release Date: 1998-03-04
Studio: Harper Paperbacks
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Editorial Reviews:
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"If you really loved me..." "After all I've done for you..." "How can you be so selfish..." Do any of the above sound familiar? They're all examples of emotional blackmail, a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and coworkers, our friends and our lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to give themselves the payoff they want: our compliance. Susan Forward knows what pushes our hot buttons. Just as John Gray illuminates the communications gap between the sexes in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Harriet Lerner describes an intricate dynamic in The Dance of Anger, so Susan Forward presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. In her clear, no-nonsense style, Forward provides powerful, practical strategies for blackmail targets, including checklists, practice scenarios and concrete communications techniques that will strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good.
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: Never be a victim again
Comment: Great book for people who are pressured to do things againt their will
People who are easily manipulated by people close to them (spouse, parent, friend.. etc)
After reading this book I see things more clearly now
how blackmailers use Fear Obligation and Guilt (FOG) tackticts to get their target's complaince
This book shows you also which emotion of the 3 affects your decision the most and how to over come them, it also shows how you can take a stand for what you believe in
What I like about this book is that you don't have to have a PHD in physcology to understand it and implement it's excersices in daily life, any one can do it
Yes I can stand it, I CAN stand it
I highly recommend this book :)
Customer Rating:
Summary: From the first page I was thinking this book hits the nail on the head.
Comment: I was so glad to finally find a book that spoke of exactly what the truth of the matter is. I loved how Susan took the subject and instead of making it about victims, she made it about how to watch for the signs of emotional blackmail, how to recognize the difference of conflicting feeling verses control issues. I enjoyed reading this book more than any other Verbal abuse book I have read so far. She hits the nail on the head with this book.. it is blackmail, simple as that! In the last part she give great advise of how to handle different types of situations and I have found them helpful. It has certainly help me understand how to handle these types of attacks and why they happen. I highly recommend this book!
Customer Rating: 
Summary: lifechanging book, but...
Comment: The book IS great, you can read about its value in every other review on this site. I will not repeat them, instead I will tell about the little "but..": most of "healthy" or "non-pathological" relationships we support is not of the bipolar model of the offender and the offended one. Usually we use some forms of lightweight blackmail in one place where receive it in another: it is very hard to draw a distinct rule between asking and manipulating, and the more we need/want/desire something from the partner the blurrier is the border. And unfortunately you will find anything but help in "double blackmail", "crossfire", where BOTH sides of the story can read the book and find that they are the victims. The only hope is that they both get smarter with reading the book and start talking to each other. Which is very likely, as the book IS great indeed ;)
Customer Rating:
Summary: For those in need, I highly recommend this book!
Comment: I myself am currently in the FOG that she describes in this and it has hit home very well and helping me redeem myself. She's VERY good at explaining and assisting. Sometimes I feel she's right there. Very informative about the different types of emotional blackmailers. I'm not done reading, but have gotten 3/4 of the way and I am so happy I bought this book. It caught my eye one day browsing through the bookstore, never bought it out of fear probably. My friend coaxed me into buying it and I'm glad I did. If anything, it will bring confidence and give you some sort of support while trying to figure out what is going on. Put you in the right direction so you can be free and clear! Basically, this book is AWESOME, INFORMATIVE, and a must read for current victims of emotional blackmail.
Customer Rating:
Summary: If you think that you have ever been abused emotionally
Comment: This an amazing look into the reality of emotional abuse. As a therapist I have been recommending this book to my clients. Watch out for an eye opening read!
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