Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child
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List Price: $16.00
Our Price: $11.68
Your Save: $ 4.32 ( 27% )
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.8583
EAN: 9780060968830
ISBN: 0060968834
Label: Harper Paperbacks
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 368
Publication Date: 1991-09-11
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
Release Date: 1991-09-11
Studio: Harper Paperbacks
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Editorial Reviews:
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"But what about me?"
"Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?"
"Will we ever make love again?"
"Will the survivor love me in the end?"
"How do I know if I should throw in the towel?"
Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners -- girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers -- trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers: The Basics -- answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing -- introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings -- teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis -- includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication -- offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex -- provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues -- suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories -- explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: Helpful and Honest
Comment: A very good reference tool and was helpful to me. I've known about my partner's sexual abuse pretty much since we met. This helped me understand aspects of her behavoir; it's not directed at me because it's not about me. That's immensely helpful.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Awesome
Comment: A must read for anyone dealing with personal abuse or others who have been abused.
Customer Rating:
Summary: But what do you do when the person you love...
Comment: makes false allegations that they were sexually abused based on "recovered memories" as encouraged by Courage to Heal?
Customer Rating:
Summary: Excellent Resource for the Non-Abused Partner
Comment: This book has brought sanity back to an insane process. This book will help you cope and understand what your partner is going through when engaged in a sexual abuse recovery. It brings hope back into what can feel like a helpless situation. It is a must read for those intimately involved in the recovery process.
Customer Rating:
Summary: No "Hypocrisy" Here
Comment: Anyone who has read any part of this book would know that it does address the needs of both people in the relationship, whether one - or both - were abused. To say that this book doesn't address the partners of survivors is ridiculous. This book is loaded with insightful information for both survivor and partner to assist in learning and dealing with the abuse. Indeed, parts of this book may not truly relate to your personal situation, but there parts that will, guaranteed.
Being a good partner means being open and receptive, to even the things we fear the most. While there are parts to this book that open new doors and create new challenges, this book provides great insight in how to face those challenges, and come out ahead. Can a book fix everything? No. But this is great place to start.
The book is loaded with quotes like: "You will also need to shift your focus from the survivor and the survivor's problems to yourself - your needs, your feelings, your history, and places you can grow." AND "Don't take care of the survivor. That's not your job in life. Take care of yourself."
Anyone who says this book can't help either didn't read it, or is too narrow-minded to know any better. Read this book. Read it with your partner, and share what your learn together.
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