First Comes Love
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List Price: $19.00
Our Price: $17.10
Your Save: $ 1.90 ( 10% )
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Manufacturer: Vintage
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 362.19697920092
EAN: 9780679765554
ISBN: 0679765557
Label: Vintage
Manufacturer: Vintage
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 272
Publication Date: 1997-05-27
Publisher: Vintage
Release Date: 1997-05-27
Studio: Vintage
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Editorial Reviews:
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From National Public Radio commentator Marion Winik, author of Telling, comes a memoir of breathtaking candor--an affecting yet rigorously unsentimental story of the extraordinary passion between a straight woman and a gay man. "Decidedly unfaint-hearted."--The New York Times Book Review.
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating: 
Summary: Love with the Gloves Off
Comment: I only read this book because our reading group chose it and, frankly, at first I wasn't sure I'd like it. I didn't feel that I could relate to Marion Winik's drug use or self-destructive pursuit of a gay man. But her writing drew me in and her story proved to be so absorbing because it was so well-written. Yes, she was self-absorbed, as addicts often are, and yes, she knew her love for Tony was bound to end in frustration, but she has no sympathy for herself, and asks for none from her readers. Her story, while moving, is not cloying or sentimental, and I really liked that. She is honest, often painfully so, and direct. She reveals what it truly means to love someone who cannot love you back the way you want to be loved. She faces her problems head-on, addresses her own weaknesses with candor. Her writing style is clear and its emotions sharply drawn. If you approach her story without judging her, you will come to know her and understand her. I liked her in spite of myself, and that says a lot. Like a good friend you care about, but who can drive you crazy, Winik reveals things to you that can make you roll your eyes or sigh in frustration, make you want to slap her. And then she opens up with vulnerability, revealing her inner turmoil and pain, and you want to embrace her. This is a tough story, hard to take sometimes. But a true love story, nonetheless. After I read the whole book, I went back and re-read its opening chapter. After going on Winik's journey with her, her words about her husband's final hours brought me to tears. I felt I knew them both.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Amazing Story of What Love Can Do
Comment: Yes, the two main people in this memoir are self-indulgent, but there is one, and only one, thread that holds them together: Love. It cannot be sexual attraction, because one is gay and one is straight. And the thread of love holds and holds and holds and finally snaps. Marion Winik's writing held me from the first chapter to the last and never snapped.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Sad
Comment: First Comes Love epitomizes the 90's era of self-indulgent memoirs over? (and please, let it be over) This is basically a book about someone who makes one bad, selfish decision after another, wreaking havoc on the lives of those around her and then, rather than hanging her head in shame, deciding that it makes her so interesting that she ought to write about it and share it with the world. In fact, it sometimes seems as if the whole point of many of her actions is to have something outrageous to write about. One can't help but feel sorry for her sons, though. Did she ever stop for a moment and think of the effect on them of reading about her incredibly dysfunctional life?
This book is very, very sad.
Customer Rating:
Summary: No Longer a Fan
Comment: I'm sorry. I'm aware of all the favorable comments regarding this book, and no one should question Marion Winik's writing abilities -- "First Comes Love" is a well crafted book -- but, being that it is a memoir, I must confess that I no longer like or respect her as a person. This is not a love story -- it is an expose of a woman who decides she is going to have what she wants, regardless of anyone else's needs. Neither do I see her as someone I should admire for courage or long suffering. Sure, she finally decides to care for him as he dies. That is the least that she should do, as far as I'm concerned. She robbed him if the rest of his life.
Customer Rating:
Summary: First Comes Love
Comment: I'm disgusted I ever bought this book and would love to have my money back (someone in my book club chose it). All nine members of my book club HATED this book and found Marion Winik's actions/addictions disgusting. She offers no explanation for her self-absorbed, destructive behavior. I promptly gave it away after I read it (not to the library...doesn't belong in a respectable institution like that). Her actions that are documented in this "memoir" are despicable and could have had life-threatening ramifications on innocent children. Do not waste your money or your time.
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