Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
by Alfie Kohn
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List Price: ££8.99
Our Price: ££4.06
Your Save: £ 0.00 ( % )
Availability: Usually dispatched within 24 hours
Manufacturer: Atria Books
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Average Customer Rating: 
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 649.1
EAN: 9780743487481
ISBN: 0743487486
Label: Atria Books
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 272
Publication Date: 2007-03-30
Publisher: Atria Books
Studio: Atria Books
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: Good Premise
Comment: The book has a good premise. I think it will be a starting place for parents who really want to change the way they parent. I don't think all the answers are here, but it will help open up to a more expanded perspective on parenting in a mindful way. It may not be as thorough or concrete as some parents would hope for.
Review is by Ramiel Nagel author of Healing Our Children: Because Your New Baby Matters! Sacred Wisdom for Preconception, Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting (ages 0-6) & Cure Tooth Decay: Heal and Prevent Cavities with Nutrition (First Edition).
Customer Rating: 
Summary: Disappointed - grandiose plans but no substance
Comment: I really liked the central concept of the book, that is you should love your child unconditionally, success or failure, naughty or good, and that the child should know that they are loved unconditionally so that they can grow up secure. However I was very disappointed with the actual substance about the nitty gritty daily life and how you manage things. There were lots of don'ts - don't praise your child when they've been good, don't punish them when they've been bad - but I felt it was lacking on the what you are supposed to do.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Thank goodness I read this while my little one is still a baby - before it was too late!
Comment: What I particularly love about this book is the fact Kohn uses real research and evidence to back up everything he says. Name me some *mainstream* parenting books that can cite as many studies as Kohn does!
And they all say the same thing. Punishments don't work. They don't work in the long term (after all, you wanted to raise a good *adult* didn't you? Not just a "good" child?) but even more surprisingly, they don't always work in the short term, either! And even more astoundingly... neither do rewards!
Thank goodness I read it now instead of waiting until my son had already been subjected to the mainstream (combative, detached, adversarial) parenting endorsed by our culture.
No, don't worry, Kohn does *not* just say "anything goes" and you should let your child do absolutely everything they want to; he gives excellent advice on how to lovingly guide your child into becoming a great adult... whilst not having a melt-down in the supermarket!
I would recommend this to anyone and everyone planning to be parents. I don't often say a book has changed my life, but this one has.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Completely changed the way I intereact with my child
Comment: Like most parents, I have tried start-charts, time-outs, naughty chair, sticker books, you name it. But at the back of my mind there had always been a niggling feeling that these traditional 'methods' were not the right way forward. Unconditional Parenting gave me the power to question those traditional beliefs and the tools to work with my child, to treat him with the respect and unconditional love that every child deserves. So often we enter into parenthood weighted down by our past - how we were treated by our parents. I'm so glad to be able to break that cycle. Read this book and stop treating your children as enemies who must be tamed and controlled.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Teaching pigeons to play table tennis
Comment: When I read psychology as a mature student, a fascinating character, BF Skinner stood out. His methods were all about stick and carrot, and form part of conventional [unchallenged] wisdom as to the way we all tick.
Any parent will tell you that bribes and punishment have a very limited impact, and clearly Kohn has succeeded in offering stuff that really works.
Yes Skinner might have taught pigeons to play table tennis [this is actually true], but unless you see your kids in a similar light, read how to really help them with this book.
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